Ricky of the Tuft

Disney's making a movie that will air 2011. I got a sneak at the opening credit.

It's based on the tale:

Ricky of the Tuft (By Perrault)

A witch tells a queen that her ugly baby boy will be the smartest guy in the world. The queen's still unhappy since her baby, Ricky, is ugly and has a huge tuft of hair growing on the top of his forhead.

Ooooooooooooookaaaaay.

At the same time, the same witch tells another queen that her beautiful baby daughter...

...in my own words...

will make Paris Hilton look like Einstein. The queen is also informed that her ugly daughter will make vise-versa her sister's "gift".

In case you didn't catch that, Princess Ugly will make Einstein look like Paris Hilton.

Ricky and Princess Nothing-Upstairs both have the gift of giving/getting smartness or beauty to/from whoever they marry.

Do I really need to tell you who they marry?

One day Ricky and Princess Nothing-Upstairs, both now young adults, meet in a wood and talk.

Que the sappy romantic singing/dancing scene involving fluffy/feathered, dancing animals.

Ricky proposes, and right when Princess Nothing-Upstairs accepts, she becomes Princess A-Lot-Upstairs.

Woooooooooooooww.

The Princess forgets Ricky, and after a year is walking in the forest when she finds an underground palace belonging to Ricky. Everyone is preparing for a wedding feast. The Princess remembers her engagement.

Talk about marital counseling.

Ricky appears, thinking the Princess is there for their wedding. Sadly, the Princess is now shallow, and tells Ricky she was younger when he proposed and now she's older and wiser. Ricky is ashamed because he sees she hates him because he's ugly.

He should kick her in the shin (I know, I have anger problems).

The Princess and Ricky fight, make-up quickly, and get married. Ricky turns into the hottest guy alive. They all live happily ever after.

See this post for a comment on this wacked-out type of ending.

The story ends saying that maybe Ricky didn't even grow beautiful at all, and that it was simply love that made the Princess see him as beautiful.

I wonder if Perrault was drunk when he wrote those lines. I mean, come on! So he's saying the fairy lied? And what about Princess Can't-Make-Up-Her-Mind-About-What-Kind-Of-A-Mind-She-Has? If the fairy lied, then she's still stupid, right? And everyone just loves her so much they're faking being able to understand what the crap she's saying? "Happily-Ever-After" needs therapists!