Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Pink

The Pink (By the Brothers Grimm)

A queen wishes for a child.

How many fairy tales start with this?!!

An angel comes and tells her she will have a child. She does. God gives him the power of receiving whatever he wishes for.

I'll kill him for the gift.

The evil cook steals him while the Queen is sleeping, and pours chicken blood all over her.


The cook accuses the Queen of feeding the baby to wild animals. She is locked up in a tower.

Instead of "Kiss the Cook" I'd make his apron read "Kick the Cook".

The cook makes the boy wish for a giant palace when the boy's old enough to speak.

Or maybe "Kill the Cook".

The cook becomes a lord, and the boy wishes for a hot playmate.

Yes, lots of ineuendo at the end of that sentence. Move along.

The boy grows to adulthood with the cook and his hot best friend. The cook, thinking the wishing boy might kill him, tries to threaten the girl to kill the wishing boy. She can't because she loves him.

Oooh! I smell romance!

She kills a deer instead and cuts out its heart and tongue for proof, and then has the wish boy hide.

What was she planning on doing? Having him hide forever? She must be one of those "beauty, no brains" kind of girls. What happens if he's found? I suddenly picture her saying that line from the FHFIF (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) episode AN (Adoptcalypse Now): "It's a Christmas Miracle!

Wish Boy figures out everything and turns the cook into a black-poodle-with-a-gold-collar-that-eats-burning-coals-until-he-burps-fire by wishing.


Then the boy turns his friend into a beautiful pink flower.

That's a reward?

He puts her in his pocket and goes to his dad's palace followed by the black/gold-fire-poodle-thingy. He visits mom by wishing for a ladder that can reach her window. She's been protected by angels the whole time. Then he tells his dad he's a hunter that can catch any thing. The king tells him to prove it. So the boy gets all the hunters of the land into one ginormous circle in the middle of the forest. He leaves one part of the circle open. Then he wishes.

Wait for it!

Then, two-hundred deer come flocking into the circle of big hunters with arrows and guns.

Do I even have to tell you what happens next?

The boy brings back the two-hundred dead deer and there's a feast. The boys reveals who he is to his dad. He turns the poodle-thingy back, and the cook is locked in the deepest, darkest dungeon for the rest of his life. The boy then reveals his beautiful flower, literally, and then figuratively. The court is astonished by his girlfriend's hotness.

In case you didn't get that 2nd to last sentence, it means he showed them the flower then changed her back.

The king and newly released queen die of joy.

See this post for a comment on this:

The Wishing-Boy and the Flower-Girl get married and live happily ever after.

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